KILL!
KILL!
Don’t make me eat you baby
I’m already stuffed
you know you eat all those big miles
and all you get is sickness and sand
hey dummy don’t even try to break free
time is an oiled and muscled creature
and I’ve tied it up,
even tighter than I’ve tied you
look at all these coiling ropes
you’re never leaving here
see I used to sing like an American bird
but I’ve gotten twisted in this desert
collecting knives and bodies
as I whistle the old tunes
I shimmied and stripped to
remembering the spotlights
and the fancy beaded bras
the spotlight was a tool
it shined like a phony sun
I hid this crazy under a blossom
because men don’t fear good girls
and none of this was an accident
EGO
DEATH
i have often said that my insides are an
ocean
a faraway and abstract ocean
a scaffolding of pastel blues
a whole army of wooden boats glides across
my surface
i have many moods but i don’t really know
them
this self division is childlike
an adaptation of fantastic persona
i have always cherished the almost burn
the picture of a flame on the yellowed
page
this self encasement in aging black
leather
old journals contain a smoothness
the lightness of an open window
this self returning is a long road trip
to an existence without verbs
old journals the containers for all new
action
but the repeating faraway mirrors
lack the elegant distortion
old journals lend to this constant story
oh the longing for glamour dances slowly
a repeating heartbeat in time
with its perfect hips circling into roses
the familiar fails me it crashes nightly
but the repeating day feels its bounds
as a circle on the water
with its perfect disappearance
my outside self is sitting in the old
chair
rereading the same five poems and crying
with her perfect breasts and her
dissatisfaction
always in the old chair warming nothing
my outside self just touching the air
when they say that love is inevitable
and tell me what women are meant to do
my outside self is an unbreakable ghost
whose transparency won’t be destroyed
even when they ask what is wrong with me
oh red wine stained my teeth that night
my hips led me into a wild dance
when they inquire about my physical
presence
i will show them what is real
oh red wine turned a key in me
these days i let myself sleep late
each long rest loosens the binding
oh red wine an infinity of red wine
this is my new and ultimate ocean
these days i let myself dream of the
future
this scaffolding of muscle and bones
keeps me tethered to the earth
these days i let myself rewrite my truths
jump gleefully off any precipice
this scaffolding of only temporary use
