my only friends are porn stars
whose soggy spines line the files
on my water-logged hard drive
shame i’ll never know them
beyond pixels cells the cybernetic
virus that swells into my bank account
nibbles the frayed edges
of all my precious coins & bills
credit cards debit cards magic cards
that rumble & roar shrivel
like a famished stomach
ugh the shame
this file that file
inaccessible &
unreadable
my priceless porn files
water-logged & water
boarded
into corruption
i miss my bank collection!
the salt-ripe heist
of a masked stick up
the ass!
blood rushed & boned up
with Calvin Brock Riley
Andy Beaux Brad
Boomer
stands on the periphery like a father harnessed angel in leather wings hovering above the nameless he strokes his strong daddy dick like a cocky boy edges me through movie star lighting & terrible acting o! the smut! when he nails a willing sub foreskin knifed into anal skin lube sheen with halloween scream
once i caught a glance
the back of his neck
clutched in the muscular
jaws
of Sean Zevran’s palm
his face pressed into hiding
crushed
by the perfect
chisel of another
porn star
i searched the internet for his pictures & uncovered a rose bush inked flesh blood bulbs & blossoms thorns each tattoo an ode love softening his knuckles wings clinging to his shoulder throbbing above his infamous hard-on
styled in a mosaic a checkered jockstrap feasts on his hips ass i wonder will i ever be able to love the cobwebs draped between worship envy?
my basement
troll body
rolls with
dinner rolls against the laptop screen
buttered &
oily i sprout moldy broccoli
fuzzy-wuzzy cutesy-wootsy sour patch kids
sugar seeds
grow & troll my muffin cup folds
see my cauliflower tits
turnip nips
mushroom hair everywhere
oh Boomer
if i dropped ½
my weight
½ my
sadness ¾ of everything
piled on my
plate
do you think an
ab or two might punch through
the bulletproof
shield of my stomach?
& what’s the point?
you’d still curdle at my flesh wedged between this unlit room
& Sean Zevran
mounting the beast of your body fucked senseless & moaning
NOTE: Calvin, Brock, Riley, Andy, Beaux, Brad and Boomer are all gay porn stars that perform with the surname “Banks.” Boomer Banks performed for the gay porn studio CockyBoys, their models are described as “cocky boys.” Sean Zevran is a gay porn star that did a scene with Boomer Banks.
Michael Russell (he/they) is the queer, mad mother monster behind two chapbooks, gallery of heartache (845 Press) and Grindr Opera (Frog Hollow Press). He’s the coauthor of chapbook Split Jawed with Elena Bentley (forthcoming from Collusion Books). When not entering the queer Speed Force and walking way too fast, they like long walks in the park and platonic dinners over flameless tea lights. Now, he’s reminding himself a bio is not a Grindr profile. Insta: @michael.russell.poet
