I bought this book by the poet
I do not need.
The poet who read I felt bad
not buying to enjoy
the jokes
spaced out in poems.
I feel bad
too distracted
write more than can read
hot with anxiety
for reading. Problematic
cousin: said hot girls do not need to
is a sign
they are not. I acknowledge
a sign my mother
is the sister who does not
work. Else the hot are
too busy rewarded.
Next week instead of
reading my class will watch
a movie. Afraid I will pay
my students:
do not think I am hot or teach.
If I could it would
be I could not stop
now the movie is playing
I cannot stop.
I don’t have what I cannot do.
Head I Imagine Approach
Confusing
I find it
to
have had a man not approach
me
with his head these six years.
Well
six years with the man who would
if
anyone.
Used
to enjoy I think would now
though
there is a reason I have not
had
it.
Think
about
someone
I do not particularly know
a
man my younger
what
would he have to feel
about
it? How is that possible
I
am still same
enough
to wish it. Confused
why
now not with him I have known
why
through other
I
do not very well.
Very
far from approaching
me
with his head how
remote
it feels it could.
Dish Soap Petals
Care color not scent some care more.
Choose scentless dish soap blue for guests there is
not just myself.
Would not choose
lemon yellow for scent
I show prefer colors.
v
Prefer scent on self. Scent proof of clean:
bar soap laundry detergent
not amount needed
scent in future
proof cleaned.
Scent more important soap has no color
scent more important.
v
Scent of shampoo less important
verify squeak.
Scent does not function
too much shampoo
looks not clean
defeats purpose dish soap
detergent.
Cannot feel how look
when hair clean cannot
tell appearance others.
v
Color of dish soap releases need lemon clean
dishes survive lack of scent.
Prefer dish soap blue
appearance of
others enables
my preference.
Choose Same
Woman now camel-colored
sweater younger
twenty perhaps.
She lives in Cambridge
also different age
I was then. Do not
know what sensed
unlike woman twenty
warm-color sweater looks now
she will not be back then
but more so than ever.
Knows: I did not,
only now.
Why have I been?
Amanda Auerbach is a poet and literary critic. Her first book of poems What Need Have We For Such as We came out from C&R Press in fall 2019, and her poems have also appeared in The Paris Review, Conjunctions, Kenyon Review, and FENCE.