natalie hanna : joe blades' tinted glasses, small press fair, c. 1995

 

 

 

forgive me, the first time we met
the unsteady glass of me
filled with mistrust
thought the coolest name in small press
might be invention, might cut up
weak verse for breakfast

thought i was getting used to surprise
announcements the scourge
was claiming acquaintances
while we cloistered in our 2020 homes

i wonder if, five days hence
the friendly air
of barely controlled panic
in my therapist's face
will overcome my own and
which of us will be more relieved
to cancel 

sous le dôme blanc épais
of the plaster glebe centre heaven
surveying our ephemeral efforts
you sat at a table in faded denim jacket
long hair about your leaning elbows
behind those overly large
tea tinted glasses
through which you drank the room
lightly 

the blanket backdrop my therapist hangs
in her basement for virtual sessions
slips and i see my own scatter, ill-fitting
underneath the neutral colours

is it more merciful
if out of sight, meant wiped from mind forever

i was in the middle of asking after cake
when i heard, two days late
that you were mysteriously gone
made ash at lighning speed —
are those cherries maraschino or glace
i continued, as if they were life itself
and i had to know how much
bright, red stain to contend with

 

 

 

 

natalie hanna is a queer, Ottawa- born lawyer of Middle-Eastern descent, living with disabilities and working with low income populations. Her writing focuses on intersectional feminism, political, ecological, and personal themes, including racism, violence, identity, and disability. She runs battleaxe press, a small poetry press, encouraging work from a feminist perspective. From April of 2016 to September of 2018, she served as the Administrative Director of the Sawdust Reading Series, and on the board of Arc Poetry Magazine.  She is the author of eleven chapbooks of poetry, including three titles with above/ground press. Her most recent chapbook, infinite redress with Baseline Press was published in the Fall of 2020. A twelfth, collaborative chapbook is forthcoming in the Spring of 2021 with Collusion Books. Her poetry, interviews, and commentary have appeared in print and online in Canada and the United States. Her poem, “light conversation” received Honourable Mention in ARC Magazine’s 2019 Diana Brebner Prize. More information about her literary work can be found online at: https://nhannawriting.wordpress.com.